Kill Them All - followed by maniacal laughter!

I love animals, bugs, spiders and fairly much anything that can’t kill me.  I have rescued spiders from the shower, bees who get confused in my office, helped dogs, cats, birds, snails and snakes.  I also love mice, they are cute, grey and have super cool little black beady eyes, but I don’t love them when they come and frolic and try and nest in my kitchen.  Then the OCD part of me comes out and I rant and rave about disease, foulness being spread and how sooooo not fucking okay this is!

A few weeks ago I discovered mice in the pantry.  They had very kindly run across the top of any can and decorated it with their feces, had busted into cereal boxes, crackers, rice, pasta - you name it, scattering it everywhere and leaving little traces of their frolic.  I imagine they were very happy as it was a continual feast for them.  When I went to grab a Tupperware to put leftovers away in and saw that they had been using it as their own little personal toilet corner all hell broke lose!  As I was standing there having my own private temper tantrum whilst glaring at a chewed box of Multigrain Cheerios I watched a little mouse scamper up and over the Basmati Rice, take a left turn at the Quinoa and dive behind a can of chick peas!  Are you serious?  That was just plain rude!

Everything was hauled out of the pantry (and it’s a rather large pantry).  All Tupperware were run through the “seek and destroy bugs” cycle and anything that the little grey beasties had played in was thrown out.  The cans were all washed and the tops were bleached.  The shelves of the pantry were bleached down and the herbs were rescued.  Do you know how expensive Saffron is little one?  Grrrrrrrrr.  Then someone very kindly suggested I should get a cat.  HA!

I have a lovely large grey long haired cat called Hebe who is convinced she is an Empress, thus mice, dogs, humans - fairly much anything that moves in the house is below her attention unless it has the capacity to feed her or stroke her when she deigns to be stroked.  Thus, mouse catching is not high on her agenda as it is far easy to yowl at a two legged creature who will immediately stick their hand in a bag and produce yummy kibble for her, even if she has vomited up a hairball on their laptop keyboard.

All the kitchen counters and chunks of the floor were soon covered with refugees from the pantry seeking a safe place to hide where they wouldn’t be nibbled, peed in or on, or possibly scampered across and pooped on.  My boys navigated the maze of boxes, bags of grains and tupperware that had become the kitchen with a fair amount of grace.  Glancing at the barren pantry with baleful eyes wondering if they were going to be asked to deal with the chaos that had ensued.  

I had recommendations from friends about “live trapping” and looked at them with a “Are you out of your frigging mind kind of look.”  These babies are going down!  There is no live trapping, there is no relocating them outside, there is no chanting over them in the hopes that they move on somewhere else - the kitchen is a NO GO AREA!  So those wonderful old style wooden traps were bought, if I were smart I would have bought them in bulk!  They were baited with organic peanut butter and the bag of chocolate chips that they had gnawed their way into earlier.  Like a strategic General I carefully placed my troops of wooden traps whilst flanking them with cans and the odd piece of Tupperware, after all I didn’t want to make it too obvious.  Over the last 10 days 22 mice have met their demise I am sorry to say.  As I would pull the trap out of the pantry a little blessing was said and the body was released to higher, kinder place before I lined up the traps and baited them all again.  Is this cruel?  I don’t believe so. 

Think about it.  If you had a person, situation or relationship in your life that was causing you huge damage, cost and had the potential to kill you with their shit, how long would you keep them in your life?  Hopefully not too frigging long!  

Also, on that note, hopefully you don’t set a trap for them and crush their neck, that’s a bad idea! Instead you would look and say to yourself - This isn’t working for me, I don’t feel comfie, this has to stop and what can I personally do to create change.  Then you take action (key point).  I could have sat and thought about the mice and had them drive me bonkers for far longer, but that situation didn’t work for me, so action happened and solution is still resolving.  

On a side note I have giggled a few times as none of my boys have been willing to empty a trap, instead they would rather throw the whole thing out!  Hmmmm, do I need to take with them about avoidance?

When Chaos Hits....

Let me tell you are story……..  Are you sitting comfortably?  Good. Then at the end I have a question for you.

We have been blessed over the last few weeks to have had amazingly hot weather - summer hit with a vengeance to say the least.  Temperatures between 35C - 45C making it so hot that sleep was nearly impossible unless it were outside.  In the early morning the dogs would rush outside for a walk whilst the heat was manageable and then spend the rest of their day hiding indoors on the cool tiled floors of the bathroom or the kitchen, even the bees and butterflies moved far slower.  Siesta should have become mandatory for everyone!  There was a lazy sense of waiting in the air.

Yesterday evening I was sitting outside hot,sticky and a tad fed up with the heat when I noticed clouds were slowly starting to roll in.  Yes!  It would be fabulous to have some rain, even if it were just a little dribble, just something to cool everything off and to give some much needed water to the earth.  As the wind started to pick up and the sky got darker and darker there was an anticipation, energies started to rise, with the first roll of thunder and a lightning show, that would  give any nightclub a run for their money there was a heightened sense of “What’s coming?”

Then BAM!  The rain hit in a torrential, horizontal downpour and the wind roared in with such strength it was  ripping trees up by their roots, flinging garbage cans, kayak’s, anything not nailed down high into the air or down the road.  WTH!  Chaos had erupted everywhere.  Where had that lazy sense of calm gone?

People were running around closing windows, bringing in their treasures that had been left in the calm of the sun, battling the wind and rain to get back to a place of light, warmth and safety.  Then the power went out. No internet, tv, cell phone or landline just torrential rain and hurricane winds.  The rain was so deep flowing down the road that it was picking up all the branches as they were broken off by the wind and sweeping them away.  Gone were the old leaves that had formed in small piles at the side of the road, picked up in the chaos of the tumultuous water and whisked away out of sight. All one could do was watch it, light candles, sit back and let it cleanse and purge everything.

Slowly the rain started to ease off and the flood turned into a rapid creek which in turn became a slow stream, and then a gentle trickle.  As the rain stopped the smell of fresh and new was picked up on the breeze and the clouds dissipated and moved off to somewhere else.  We wandered outside to inspect the damage that had happened and there was a sense of calm, a sense of fresh and new.  A sense of connection as we checked in with our neighbours to make sure they were okay, a sense of “Well that was intense!”  The trees were so saturated that to stand under them was like being in a rain shower, but it was just old rain clinging to the needles of the pine that were being dropped.

We sat around eating dinner that had been cooked on the barbeque, due to no power, with candles lit in every room so we could navigate the house, and talking about the storm and how wild it was and how nature had handed us total chaos for a few hours.  Yes it had been total chaos, yes some things had most certainly changed, yet even within it and after it we were safe - thank goodness and the reality was there was nothing we could have done to change it.  Mother Nature was on a mission and she most certainly did it.

So then it made me think and the question I have for you is:-  when areas of chaos come up in your life how do you handle them?  Do you try and control it or do you trust and believe that it will be okay?  Can you see how sometimes those situations that we don’t really want can be like a wicked storm and wash away all the old detritus and create space for something new?  Or do you get angry, blame someone else, try and stuff it back into a box?

For me watching how fast that storm came in, the destruction it created along with change, whilst at the same time washing away all sorts of old debris was quite eye opening as we all have those situations occur in our lives in a myriad of ways.  None of us like chaos, it’s not like we wake up in the morning and think to ourselves “Wow, I could do with a large dose of chaos today.”  There are quite a few sayings about the calm before the storm, but what about the calm after the storm?

Gardening is like Life and Business

So for the last few days I have been feeling uber

punky and more drained than a kitchen sink, but being the girl who likes to be outdoors I created little nooks to huddle down in in the garden where I could just BE, read books, sip water, think and dream.  (Now if you know me I am more a DOer than a sit stiller so it was a delicious dichotomy).

One of the nooks that I created was in a corner of the garden where all the seeds were starting to come up.  When the seeds were planted I didn’t mark the rows with tags, sticks or labels – I had more an attitude of “you will grow where you need to grow”, but thankfully they are mainly all coming up in rows.  (Which the Virgo aspect of me appreciates).

So there I was curled up in the dappled sun with gorgeous gentle music playing in the background, books and journals surrounding me and I looked around at this amazing oasis that the kids and I created, how with the sun and the heat everything is starting to take off and grow and flourish – as are the "weeds".  I watched my point of focus move to the weeds that were, as I felt, impacting the orderly direction of all the delicious rows.

Have to say, feeling as drained as I was the idea of hopping up, pulling out the weeds, creating calm out of perceived chaos didn’t resonate highly on a physical level, but it most certainly did on an energetic level.  I watched as my point of focus on weeds took me out of my appreciation for the gorgeous garden space and all that was growing and flourishing.  I was no longer focused on the carrots that were coming up, the peas, the spinach, and the kale – just the fucking weeds. 

It took me a while to bring my energy back to the lovely veggies that were growing, the berry bushes, how the kiwis were wending all over the workshop I built - all the things that I had planted with intention.

This is where I realised that life and business are very much like gardening.    Think about it, when we create a garden we sow seeds in a particular space with intention that they will grow. 

In our lives we do a similar thing – albeit our growing season is longer - whether it is in our personal lives, our business, our love life – you name it.  But where is our point of focus?  Is it in the here and the now and the appreciation for what is growing or is it on something else?  For example you have a newer love relationship that starts to flourish and grow and of course in the beginning it is delicious fun – however 4 months or so have passed and your focus turns to the “weeds” of – they didn’t call last night, or at the beginning they used to meet you after work for a quick 5 minute hug and kiss – but they are too busy now.  They want to hang out with their friends instead of you – WTF?

Let’s look at business; you trained, became certified or got a degree, had a great idea and you started a business.  The first few months you were on a high of – HELL YES, I will be the best lawyer/coach/personal trainer/graphics designer ever!!! 

After a few months of long hours, not as many clients as you thought - your tired, your mojo may have vanished to the curb, perhaps you posted on social media and received some negative commentary (along with a truck full of positive comments) but where do you focus?  You focus on the weeds.  Thus, you focus on the negative comments (there were only 3) and totally dismiss the positive comments of 40 other people.  You may possibly be thinking packing this idea in is a good way to go.

So as I sat in my little garden nook, all curled up – I had to make a conscious choice to NOT focus on the weeds, instead to celebrate what is about to come up.  Don’t get me wrong – those suckers are coming out, just not right now.  They will come out when it works for me and to ensure that my delicious plants have room to grow and thrive as do YOU, your life, your business, your family or whatever arena you have planted your seeds of Intention.

Think of it this way:- Weeds are just misplaced flowers.

Give your attention, intention and energy to the seeds you have sown or are about to sow and as the weeds come up realise they are part of the process of what you are creating.  Smile, bless them and then go get a big arse Hoe so you can move those beasties out of your path.

Have you ever thought of yourself as a blade of grass?

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers “Grow, grow” – The Talmud

You stick up, stand up, all bright, green and shiny, a blade unto yourself.  There is no other blade like you!   Trust me, if you are somewhere where grass grows go have a look at a lawn you will see each blade as separate.  They aren’t identical, some curve one way, some the other, and some are short and others long and leggy.

However, if you were to go a bit further and stick a shovel in and gently pull up a chunk of sod, all the roots are intertwined, there is a complex support system in place.  All the blades may grow separate, but they are all connected together, nourishing each other, and feeding each other, sharing treasured resources – it’s very cool.

So let’s look at the opening phrase - believe it or not but there is always a “someone” who bends over you and encourages you and whispers into your ear – grow, grow. 

Sometimes we don’t want to hear it and will rail against it; often we don’t see it and more oft than not we negate it.  It’s there though.

Ask yourself – how does it feel to think that you are totally alone?  You aren’t, but often we feel that we are the only one out there juggling, feeling, doing, being whatever it is we are.  So we shrink a little and wither (like grass that doesn’t get water). As we may perceive “we aren’t doing it right”.

How does it feel to shrink back to the places you know, but that don’t always serve you so well?  How does it feel to keep yourself isolated, playing small and just trudging along? How does it feel to not pay attention to the whispers?  They are there all the time whether you pay attention or not.  They are in the casual conversation on the street, they are in the wind rustling through newly leafed branches, they are in the waves as they cascade into the shore, they are in the random email you receive that is lovely, someone complimenting you.  The whispers are there all the time.

Should you find yourself contracting and restricting I encourage you to reach out, stretch hard if you need to and step out of your comfort zone.  Listen to the whispers, they are delicious.   

Be the gorgeous shiny piece of fresh grass and go find the people or angels that can whisper to you when you need it.  Find those that will support you in your growth, your learning, and your hardships or even kick your butt if needed.  Open yourself, share and be vulnerable.

If you want to stretch even further create a community of people around you that can whisper to you, encourage, support and mentor you, and that you can whisper to.

Like the blade of grass, we are all individuals up top, but we are all interconnected underneath and that is what makes us strong, grow and flourish.

The Toxic Troll and 3 Billy Goats Gruff

Do you remember the story of the 3 Billy goats who were all called Gruff?  Quick synopsis, there were 3 Billy goats and they were going up the hillside to graze to make themselves fat.  To get to the hillside they had to go over a bridge under which lived a huge ugly mean troll with eyes as big as saucers and a nose as long as a poker. 

When the first (and smallest) goat went over the bridge the troll hopped out and said he was going to eat him up.  (Which didn’t happen as the goat deflected due to his size and said there two more coming that were larger, plumper etc).  Same thing happened to the middle one and when the largest one came across the bridge the troll roared in his hoarse raspy voice how he was going to eat him.  The largest goats response wasn’t the same, mayhem broke out and the troll was killed. 

What has this story got to do with real life you are wondering?  Good question, stay with me.

What toxic trolls do you have in your world right now?  Think about it, they could be acquaintances, ex partners, bosses you name it.  They aren’t necessarily huge, ugly and with eyes as big as saucers; but they are the people that the minute you don’t do something that they think is correct, or when you mess up or doing fabulously, your feeling tired, fragile and vulnerable – they will be there.  Not with soup, a shoulder or a helping hand or to celebrate your success with you, but subtle sarcasm, inappropriate remarks on your Facebook, veiled scathing comments, put downs behind your back, gossiping as if they “know” what is happening in your life, but not helping. 

When you look at them they give you a smile or more like a knowing smirk.  They don’t have your wellbeing at heart, they relish in your discomfort and for them it is about winning, controlling and manipulating along with shaming you and a myriad of other unhealthy traits which they mask behind a sense of “All knowing, superior and that they have their poop in a group”.

When this troll shows up in your life do you find yourself trying to explain, defend, justify or share your thought process with them? 

DON’T!!!!

They can’t hear you.  They have their own story that they play out in their head when they look at you.  Stop giving them time and energy.  Yes, they may have hurt you verbally, physically, emotionally or spiritually – but the more energy you give them the more the troll feeds and gets bigger, fatter and meaner. 

You need to realise that anyone who shows up in your life with that level of judgement, toxicity, negativity or whatever they want to project onto you is hurting.  Somewhere along the line they were taught that treating people this way was okay and never chose to learn differently.  As Dr. Wayne Dyer says: “When you judge another, you don’t define them, you define yourself.” So remember that - this isn't personal, it most certainly isn't comfie, but it's not your shit.

Is it your responsibility to make it okay for them?  Hell no!  (Unless they are a small child). Do you need to keep them in your life – Fuck No!  But do you need to reclaim your own power and energy back – Hell Yes!

Practise forgiveness.  Now I can see your shoulders going up when I say that, but hear me out.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying “Wow that scathing attacking email or that horrific encounter is totally fine.”  I’m saying; pull back your energy and your own power for your sake and well being.  If you don’t you are leaking your vital energy out like a punctured hose.

Forgiveness works for YOU.  Write a list pertaining to that one person or situation and address everything that is burbling around in you and as you read that list see the event or person as real and now and your part in it as well.  Then use the Ho'oponopono - I Love You, I'm Sorry, Forgive Me, Thank You. 

Now I know that might sound flaky but what do you have to lose and think of all you have to gain. More energy, release and that delicious feeling of expansiveness.  On top of doing that set some clear boundaries and if needs must - give yourself a time out - you don't need to jump to the trolls tune.

But seriously it is time to punt the toxic trolls to the curb and claim that energy leak.

Enough Already!

This BECOMING business is tough frigging work.

After all who are you becoming?  What are you becoming?  How do you know if you’ve got there?  Will the skies suddenly open and the one single sunbeam illuminate your path? Will God leave you a massive sticky note saying “Congratulations, you made it?”

I’m asking you these questions as I have asked myself these questions.

This morning a friend popped by and as we were having a cuppa tea she said “You’ve had a challenging few months.  When you keep bumping up against obstacles do you ever feel like saying – I’m on the wrong path let’s just pack it all in, sell the house, move somewhere else and try something new?” 

Hell Yes! 

I am a continual quester of meaning, impact, connection, power, passion and purpose and  you bet I question like a fiend when things are appearing “wrong” (as my mind perceives them). 

I have spent the last 20 years (the first 10 were in closeted denial) looking at myself, my life, the people I attract into my life, exploring my spirituality, studying Yoga, Tarot, following great spiritual leaders, pursuing education, coaching, meditating, participating in sweat lodges, writing New Moon wishes and reading every new book that promised “to be the answer” as to why we are here……..

Yet, I still have moments when it feels that all these new mindsets, ways of being that I am asked to become are too much frigging work and there is nothing tangible to measure!  I mean when you bake a cake you put all the different ingredients in the bowl, stir, bake and voila!  There is a tangible thing. 

So when that feeling hits,  the desire to pack all that learning, BEcoming and Transforming into a huge arsed duffle bag, weigh it down with large rocks and dump it at the bottom of the ocean and go back to being comfortably oblivious, packed neat and tight in a little box scream out to me as sensible.

But you can’t – there is no going back, there is no hopping off the bus.

Can you take a temporary hiatus and give yourself permission to just BE for a bit and not stretch and grow?  You bet.  Will you want to stay there long – most likely not, even though it has the illusion of comfie associated with it. 

  

Why?  Because you are you, you can hear the whisper of your soul calling to you.  You can hear the little voice, that sometimes you stuff deep down, asking you to believe in you and your dream and you intrinsically know in the core of your being (whether you shout it loud and proud or not) that you have a gift that you need to unpack and share. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about the word “transformation” in his book Wishes Fulfilled:- “The word transformation has the word form right smack in the middle, preceded by trans – meaning going beyond form.  Live from the place that will indeed take you way beyond the limits of your seemingly limited life.”

Thus, when you are envisioning the duffle bag  this is the point where you need to remind yourself that as you make changes whether subtle or overt the first thing that comes up is the dirt.  Think of the seed you plant in your garden, as it grows and sprouts all the dirt has to be pushed out of the way.  What about the gym routine you finally commit to and about week 2 all the old crap in your head is going to find every reason why you shouldn’t be there.  

So when the old ways of being, the old habits, the old mindsets rear up, gently embrace them and then punt them to the curb!

So yes the bottom line is Transformation and BEcoming is frigging hard work, but it’s a process, a journey and instead of being focused on the end result, relax, breathe and give yourself time to integrate all the glory of who you are right now and who you are BEcoming.

Because the world needs you, your gifts and your journey of BEcoming.

Be like a Sequoia

Sequoia Tree

Do you know what a Sequoia tree looks like? They are HUGE!!!! Giant sequoias are the world's largest single trees by volume.   They reach an average height of 160 to 279 feet (50 to 85 meters and average diameter of 20 - 26 feet (6 - 8 meters).  Record trees have been identified at 311 feet (94.8 meters) and 56 feet (17 meters) in diameter.  The oldest known giant sequoia is estimated at 3, 500 years old.  To they are big, gorgeous redwood trees - what does this have to do with you you are asking?  Good questions.  So let's explore it.  

If you have ever spent any time on Facebook you will have seen all sorts of tests, there is the “What animal are you”, the “What’s your elf name” a myriad of others and there is also a Celtic one as to which tree you are.  I think I came out as a Willow on that one.  My suggestion is BE A SEQUOIA.

Sequoias live in a fire prone environment.  There is deadwood leaning up against them, they have branches that need to be removed and the underbrush that no one ever tends is growing up and sucking up their nutrients and light.  Their saplings can't survive in such an environment.  So Sequoia's need fire, they need a crisis to flourish.  Fire removes the deadwood and the undergrowth and causes the conses to explode and cast their seeds which the ash of the fire fertilises.  The saplings that are strong enough survive.  Sequoias thrive in the chaos and crisis of fire.  Do they burn up along with the other trees?  Sequoias have fibrous, fire-resistant bark that can grow up to two feet thick.  So they might get slightly singed, even charred, but it doesn't do them any real permanent damage.  

As a human challenges come up in life that are unexpected and can feel as if your whole world has turned upside down or is falling apart.  Everything you thought was real, present, your dreams, your goals – poof, gone!.  Whether it is losing your job, a relationship ending, a child getting hurt, a friend betraying you, they all have the same impact which is picking you up and throwing you into a crisis situation.

Crisis came from the Greek word “Krisis” meaning “decisive moment”.  That’s what happens when we experience one of those challenging events, we have a choice to make a decision and possibly pick something different, or a different way of thinking and acting.  BE A SEQUOIA.

Use that challenge, the fire of the situation to create a new window of opportunity, to explore, dig deep and step up even stronger whilst you cast your seeds of desire and creativity out into the ashes that are surrounding you.  Now I know that may sound poetic, but it’s true.  You can look at a situation or event as limiting, overwhelming and challenging.  That’s fine, you need to spend some time there and feel the emotions and get angry, cry and feel thoroughly pissed off.  But after that you have a choice.  Are you going to stay stuck and wallow, or are you going to use that crisis to fuel something new, fiery and that aligns with who you are?